Pretension almost always overdoes the original, and hence exposes itself.
“How come we still demand truth from someone who has given us nothing but a bucketful of lies?”
I am in a numberless phase wherein I no longer can say whether I’m changing or pretending. I may have walked the wrong path for too long and have reached the end but won’t admit it. Maybe because it would just make me realize that the dead end is one step away from me, that the abyss I fell into is limited. It would be a great effort to climb up and go back to where I have come from, but it’s the better choice than stay here in a dark pit and never come out. It yawned and the sounds attracted me, I came and dove into it, walked and enjoyed the happiness it had brought me, and now it’s all over, the show’s over, the curtain’s closing. But no, I will resist, an actress stays an actress even behind the cameras, even without the hungry eyes of her audience. And yes, this yawning chasm between what I am and what I claim to be is my newfound home.
Years of never-ending pretension
Of excessive self-indulgence
And a many overnight transformation
Gave me an indistinguishable sixth sense
It became a bowl of skills and strength
Of wits and judgement
That takes me somewhere at length
And sends the old me to adjournment
For a long time now, I have been
A person everybody else has seen
And overnight I’ll thrive and strive
So the new me will come and arrive
Took me years to build it up
I won’t let nobody easily tear it up
I’d do anything if it needs be
Let those trust shatter if they’re against me
Now blame me all you want but I won’t tremble
‘Cause your little words won’t hurt me that much
Because in here I am mostly invincible
And in here I am the Queen of my own branch
It may have taken over me
But I won’t let it be gone
Because it’s now who I am
And it is what I have become
‘Tis for a friend of mine suffering from a great deal of depression.
You know I’m always here for you, whether you choose to be gone
or stay long enough to see yourself become the bad one.